Tracy S. Morris

Quirky Mysteries, Screwball Fantasy and Sassy History

From B-Movie Starlet to Warrior Princess: Bunny of the Four Redheads of the Apocalypse

Written By: Tracy - Jan• 31•12

Linda L. Donahue is a Renaissance Woman: She teaches Tai Chi, Belly Dancing, and has been a model for the website Babes with Blades. As a teen she lived on a military base and flew planes. Later she taught high school math, computer science and aviation.  As a member of the four-woman writing team behind the Four Redheads of the Apocalypse, Linda assumes the role of Bunny, the wife of the late Ares, horseman of war.

During public appearances, Linda also appears in the persona of War Bunny (along with her spiffy Valkyrie helm)

In persona, Linda recently took the time to provide us some of the questions she is asked during public appearances, and the answers that “Bunny” provides.

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Bunny, what did you do before you married Ares, before you became a Horsewoman of the Apocalypse?

I was an actress. It was a great time to be acting, too. The 60s produced some of the greatest movies of all time. Maybe you’ve seen some of my pictures? I was in “Zombie Queen from Outer Space,” “Sirena of the Sea,” “Bride of the Volcano God,” “Mars Needs Lingerie” and “The Secret Agent Wore a Bikini,” just to name a few.

What do you consider your deceased husband’s greatest work of War?

That’s a tough question. Ares was really proud of a lot of his wars, but I think reviews would say his two greatest works were The Hundred Years War and World War I. After all, The Hundred Years War ran longer than “The Phantom of the Opera” or “Cats” on stage. And World War I was so popular it spawned a sequel.

So, Bunny, what was Ares really like? Tell us how you met him.

I didn’t meet him until I died–right after I died, actually. I was filming a remake of “Helen of Troy” when a cam light fell on me, killing me. And Ares was right there. He was such a fan. He’d been following my career, always watching me, just waiting for me to die. It was so romantic. He grabbed me into his arms, said I was the Spoils of War and carried me off on his big red warhorse.

Bunny, what’s this we hear about you replacing the dogs of War?

Oh, that’s a sad story. The poor dogs were foaming at the mouth and I know rabies when I see it–even if Satan thought they were just fine. There’s no cure, you know. So I had to have them put down. But I’ve replaced them with much more manageable dogs. Now instead of bull mastiffs, they’re toy poodles. And I’ve dyed them to match my evening gowns. I have one in each color of the rainbow.

War, we hear you’ve given your horse a make-over. Tell us about it.

That was out of necessity. You know how War’s color is red? Well, if I’ve supposed to ride into the Apocalypse in a red evening gown, I can hardly do it on a red horse. And with my red hair, that’s a lot of red. So, I bleached Devastation pink. He looks adorable, too. And, as long as I was giving him the full pampered treatment, I had his hooves coated with diamond dust and had my farrier, Charon, make him a gold spiral horn headpiece. You know, Charon is really a nice fellow. It’s such a shame he has to keep a second job guiding people across the River Styx.

As one of the Horsewomen, you answer to God and Satan both. We all have a pretty good idea of what Satan is like, but tell us about the Man Upstairs.

God is really a great guy, very understanding too. Anyway, he has a long white beard and a big, jolly belly. He knows everything, too. It’s just like the song about him goes: He sees when you are sleeping; he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

Speaking of Heaven, we understand you have an animal sanctuary bearing your name. Is that true?

Absolutely. It’s called Bunny’s Hoppy Acres and it’s filled with all my past pets and, well, any animals without a home. You see, apparently, God does answer your prayers. And when I was alive, I always felt bad for any poor little animal I saw on the roadside and would offer up a prayer, asking the animal to wait for me in Heaven. Well, they are. Apparently, they’re all keeping Saint Francis of Assisi busy too. It seems my acres are next door to a farmer’s haven.

Bunny, we understand you have a personal trainer now. But why, when you have such a nice figure already?

Thanks for the compliment. I do try to take care of myself. But it’s not that sort of trainer–and I have two, actually. Satan and God both thought I could use someone to help me do a better job of being War. Satan assigned me Semyaza, one of the first fallen angels. He’s really smart too. He not only gave humanity weapons, but he invented cosmetics! And God hooked me up with the archangel Michael who’s just dreamy!

We’ve heard a rumor that romance is in the air for you ladies of the Apocalypse. Tell us a little about the new man in your life, Bunny.

You know, I would’ve married Michael but neither God nor Satan would approve of him as the new War. So I’m hunting for a new husband Hollywood style. I’ve got a new reality based, dating show. So there’s actually a lot of new men in my life. To appease Satan, I’ve got a lot of stuffy old generals and such competing, but I’m afraid no one will have ever heard of people like George Patton, Don Juan or Peter the Great. Instead, I have my hopes set on some of the really famous people competing like Tony Curtis, Cary Grant, Johnny Depp, Adam Cartwright and Captain James T. Kirk.

We have heard rumors about your dating reality game show, but since most of your contestants are dead, what are they going to do with the weaponry parting gifts in the afterlife?

You mean the Bushmaster rifle or Abrams Tank and such? Well, there are target ranges in Heaven. I’m sure my contestants can fire them there. Of course, if any of my contestants belong in Hell, they’ll likely have more problems. There’s scores of demons who intercept people coming into Hell, just to take away anything they’ve brought with them. I suppose in those cases, the weapons will end up on the black market.

One more thing, Bunny, what is it like to live in Hell?

Oh, it’s about the same as anywhere, I suppose. On Earth, I lived in a really big mansion and had a staff of servants. Here, I live in a modest, fifty-two room mansion and have a staff of minions. Well, I have three minions and I have to share them with the other Redheads. So, I guess you could say it’s a hardship Down Here. If you ever stop by, you’ll have to see my office space—-my Pink Palace. I’ve decorated it in every shade of pink . . . almost. You see, there are eighty-seven shades of pink and I only used eighty-five. I’m thinking of adding some purple for contrast. Satan loves the place. She calls it Mary Kay Hell, which coming from her is surely high praise.

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The newest book in the Four Redheads series, Redheads in Love is available from Yard Dog Press.

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2 Comments

  1. Thanks for the interview! Nice helm.

  2. Jaleta Clegg says:

    *giggling* Loved the interview!