Tracy S. Morris

Quirky Mysteries, Screwball Fantasy and Sassy History

A Plague on her House: Butterflye Plague-Pestilence

Written By: Tracy - Feb• 07•12

If you haven’t heard it yet, this month the Yard Dog Press Audio Roadshow is about the newest book in the Four Redheads of the Apocalypse series, Four Redheads of the Apocalypse: Redheads in Love.  You can hear that here.

Today I’ve got the last of a four-part “Virtual Press Conference” with the remaining member of the four woman band: Butterflye Plague Pestilence, as played by Butterflye’s primary writer, Dusty Rainbolt.

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As I understand it, the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse all answer ultimately to God. What’s He like?

The other Horsewomen know him better than I do. Shortly after Osmodeus died, I went upstairs for a conference with the Big Guy. After I left, they had to buy an extermination package from Bugs-R-Us. I hear they still see the occasional dung beetle up there. When the Big Guy and I have to communicate, it’s by email.

What did you do before you married your first husband, Ossy?

I was an investigative reporter for the National Enquirer and the New York Times. You might have read some of my work, “John Wayne Pregnant by Alien”, and “Bat Boy Brokers Middle East Peace Deal”, “President Eaten by Bigfoot—Body Double Assumes the Highest Office in the Land”, and my personal favorite, “Definitive Proof that Hitler Sunk the Titanic”.

I thought you were an attorney.

Well, yes, that too. I have degrees in both journalism and law.

That’s very impressive.

It was cheaper to get a law degree than to hire an attorney to defend me against all those libel suits.

What is your most significant accomplishment?

There was the time…no, that was Famine. Then there was that…no, that was Ossy. Well, one of my minions developed a mango-scented flea dip that was rather nice.

Butterflye, what did you do after the recent failure of the swine flu.

I sold my stock in Merck and put in a buy for pork bellies.

Pharmaceutical stocks have plummeted. Why is that?

I don’t know. Satan said I couldn’t spread disease with a jihadist and a crop duster. I guess there haven’t been many outbreaks lately. But I have a feeling that’s going to change.

Tell me about your new commercial venture.

Computer dating is big these days. So I thought I would take advantage of the growing trend and start an online dating service for those who are organically challenged. I tried all the dating services that advertise on television and they turned me down because they said I had to be alive. So I thought, “Hey, there are a lot more dead people than living people. That’s a huge untapped market.” I can’t lose…can I?

What were your late husband’s greatest works?

He loved the Biblical plagues. Exodus really gave Ossy a chance to show off his creativity. Just think what a challenge it was to come up with that many horrific events back-to-back. But he was also proud of the Black Death. Everyone thinks it was just four years, but it wasn’t. You have to really hand it to a guy who can come up with an epidemic that can last over a century! He said after the Church did away with all the cats, it was cinch to breed rats and fleas. Served them right!

Ossy loved animals. But that went claw-in-claw with his job since animals and insects are such efficient vectors of disease. He also loved breeding his mega pets like the rats and roaches in the New York subways. That’s where he found his beloved Madagascar Hissing Cockroach, Ralph.

Butterflye with Ralph

I thought Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches came from Madagascar.

Not all of them. Ralph comes from Brooklyn.

Where is Ralph?

He with the new Plague, my beloved Larvy. Ralph goes everywhere with Larvy. He’s like a little six-legged shadow.

Congratulations on your recent marriage. Where did you register?

Orkin®.

Are you planning on any style changes now that you’re married?

Yes. Since my beloved Larvy has taken over the job of Plague, or Pestilence—whatever—I won’t need the evening gown to conceal the collection of bugs. It’s miniskirts from now on, baby.

For more on Butterflye Plague-Pestilence’s marriage, check out The Four Redheads of the Apocalypse: Redheads in Love from Yard Dog Press.

To read our interviews with the other horsewomen, click here:

Famine, Death, War

And if you know of a good exterminator, drop a message to the reporting staff. We’ve had problems ever since Mrs. Plague-Pestilence visited our studio.

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