Since starting to work on the school newspaper in junior high, Celeste had gotten into the habit of composing stories out of significant things that happened to her. It had become a handy way for her to process her day. Now, as she knelt behind the counter to pull a couple of long-necked bottles out of the cooler for the off-duty werewolf cops in the corner, Celeste thought of how a story about the mishap in the basement might read.
Owner Baffled, Bamboozled as Bar Basement Broken
Lucky Whatshisface, owner of Lucky’s tavern in New Orange City, reports that his establishment was recently attacked by an unknown entity, which was in no way related to the bad luck of one Celeste Ingram, but may have been a sewer gator.
The entity entered the premises through a basement access to the sewer system. Reportedly, it knocked over the shelving and broke several expensive bottles of liquor. No one was injured in the attack.
A hand passed in front of Celeste’s face, causing her to jump. She looked up. Lucky stood there, hands on his hips.
“Good daydream?”
“I was thinking about what might have come out of the sewers and trashed the basement.” Celeste stood “And also? I don’t think you ever told me your last name.”
Lucky looked amused. “I don’t need one, kid. There aren’t many one-eyed werewolf bar owners named Lucky running around out there.”
“You got me there,” Celeste said.
“What happened to your basement?” A new voice cut in. The two of them turned to see Ed Piñado lean his bulky centaur frame against the bartop.
“Nothing,” Lucky said.
At the same time Celeste pointed at the floor and said “something came through the tunnel into the sewers and knocked over all the shelves in the basement.
“You have a door into the sewers?” Ed put his drink down and pushed it away.
“No!” Lucky glared at Celeste. “There is an old smuggler’s tunnel down there. It dates back to the war of 1776 when munitions runners smuggled guns out of New Orange to the Yankees, and smuggled rum in to drink. I haven’t used it since prohibition. If you know where to go, you can get into the sewers, the pneumatic system, anywhere in the underground you need to get.
“Usually I keep the door there locked, but last night something broke in.”
“We thought it might have been that leprechaun that Lucky threw out last night,” Celeste said. “But that was a dead end.”
“It could be anything,” Lucky said. “Immigrants from all over the world have passed through New Orange. There’s no telling what they’ve brought with them.”
“Have you filed a report with the cops?” Ed asked.
“I had to, for insurance,” Lucky said.
“You did?” Celeste cut in. “When?”
“After Seamus.”
“Why aren’t they doing anything?” Celeste gestured toward the cops in the corner with the bottle in her hand.
“They have.” Lucky said. “They filed it.”
Celeste raised her eyebrows. “And?”
“And now there is a file on the incident. Apparently we’re the third business that this happened to this week. It’s not a problem until it happens to at least six places.”
Lucky lifted Celeste’s tray into her hands, turned her bodily toward the table of cops waiting for their drinks and gave her a push in that direction.
“I’m going, I’m going.” Celeste grumped. She dropped the drinks at the table, and made a circuit of the room to pick up empty bottles. Ed was still at the counter when she returned. This time nursing a stein filled with amber liquid.
“A water spirit like the each-uisge might come out of the sewer,” he said. “But they usually lure people into jumping on their backs and then drown them. Trashing out your basement wouldn’t be normal behavior.”
“That sounds like something a kelpie would do,” Celeste said. “Mawmaw used to warn us not to play around with strange horses, because you never know if it’s a kelpie or not.”
“Each-uisge are meaner. Then you have hags like Peg Powler, Jenny Greenteeth and Nelly Longarms.” Ed ticked each name off on his fingers as he said it. “They look human, and lure children into the river and drown them. If it looks canine, it might be an ahuizotl which likes to lure the unwary into the water and drown them.”
“I’m sensing a theme here,” Lucky said.
“Of course, it could be a Kappa. They also sort of look like humans, but with webbed hands and feet and turtle shells on their backs.”
“Like a ninja turtle,” Celeste said.
“Close,” Ed nodded. “They lure the unwary into the water –”
“And drown them.” Celeste finished.
Ed looked annoyed at her. “That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Sorry,” Celeste looked contrite. “Please go on.”
“First they pull their victims organs out through their rear. Then they drown them.”
“This is sounding better and better,” Lucky propped his chin on his fist. “How do you know so much about this, Ed?”
“I was in the Merchant Marines’ Equine Program before I opened the carriage company,” Ed said, flexing his massive biceps. “You learn what to watch out for when you work on the water.”
“What do you do if you meet any one of these things?” Lucky asked.
“All the standard things that repel fairies,” Ed said. “Cold Iron, holy water, smudge sticks, salt. Kappas like cucumbers, so you can throw one the other way and it’ll chase that. And almost everything dies if you cut its head off.”
“Thanks, Ed,” Lucky said. “You’ve been helpful.”
Celeste raised an eyebrow at that. Before she could say anything, Lucky started loading her tray with more bottles. He nodded toward the open floor meaningfully. With a scoff, she turned away.
As the night wore on, she found herself composing a different story about the other two places that were vandalized.
Vandalism Spree hits New Orange Businesses
By: Celeste Ingram
Business owners in New Orange are locking their basements tonight in fear of what might come out of the sewers after three local establishments have been hit by a wave of vandalism.
“Hey Lucky?” Celeste plopped her tray on the end of the bar and sat on an empty stool. “We should go talk to the other people who this happened to before we head off into the sewers. Maybe someone got it on video. Or there’s a claw mark or hoofprint or something that might tell us what we’re dealing with.”
Lucky gave her a bemused look. “That’s not a bad idea. Although I don’t think the cops would appreciate us muscling in on their detective work.”
“If the local PD is anything like home, there should be a copy of the daily incident reports at the front desk,” Celeste said. “It’s a matter of public record. And if not, the local newspaper should have it in their police blotter section.”
“You mean the newspaper that you nearly got thrown out of the other day?” Lucky started polishing the bartop.
She laughed, shakily. “I’ll check at the police station, and if it’s not there, then you can go to the newspaper?”
“Why don’t you go? I thought you were popular over there?”
She cringed at the thought of dancing receptionist Barbie again.
“No one cares that you were a pain the last time you went over to that newspaper, kid.” the corner of Lucky’s mouth lifted in a lopsided smile. “They probably don’t even remember what you looked like.”
“Still. . . “ Celeste trailed off, uncertainly.
“I should make you go to that newspaper, and face your fears. But seeing as we might actually use that information, I’ll be happy to check on it for you.”
“You’re a gentleman scholar and a prince among men, Lucky,” Celeste said.
“Stop flattering me and get to work.” Lucky made a dismissive motion with his hands.